Why is it the ones who wish to to good have it bad?

mel·an·chol·y /ˈmɛlənˌkɒli/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[mel-uhn-kol-ee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation noun, plural -chol·ies, adjective
–noun
1.
a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
2.
sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.
3.
Archaic.
a.
the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.
b.
black bile. –adjective
4.
affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.
5.
causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.
6.
soberly thoughtful; pensive.


to you up there, I really love her you know. You can see right through my skin into my soul. And you know I do. I know that these tests of yours are to see if we really want it. I do. I ask you for your guidance and help. I have made my mistakes in the past and I have paid for that time. Please do not let me down on this. I give my soul for you to guide. But this is what I want. She is who I want to be with. To you up there, please do not break my heart.

Dont hurt me that bad.